Thursday, October 22, 2015

My Sister and Me


Hope and Swede with their 4 sons, Dude, Bill, Jim and Jeff, 1960
Hope Enger Reyman, July 18, 1926-October 28, 2013

After spending my morning watching the videos that were made over the years by my sister Hope Enger Reyman, (Thank you Jill Wyatt!) I came to a conclusion that I have probably known all along—it just didn’t occur to me before.  Hopie and I were born of the same parents and loved each other with all our hearts, but we were born total opposites!

Baby Hope, 1926, Kindred, ND
Maybe our differences stemmed from the fact that we were raised in vastly different eras. She in the 1930’s and 40’s with two brothers, and me in the 40’s and 50’s as an “only child.”  Hopie and my brothers lived through the years of the Great Depression and World War II, while my experiences included the boom years of the post-war era and the birth of Rock and Roll.  But truly I believe that we sisters were just born with different genes.  Hopie inherited the patience of our mother, and I was born with the antsiness of our father.  Today it would be called ADHD, back then I was pegged as having “ants in my pants.”

Baton majorette, Worthington, MN High School, 1944
Hopie enjoyed the simple things in life.  On her videos she spends what seems like an eternity just watching a tiny crab sidling across the beach; a bird chirping on its perch; and flowers growing in the field—so much so that I can’t help but hit the “fast forward” button to go on to the next scene.  She loved the beauty of nature, was always amazed by it, and took time to observe its wonders.  I, on the other hand, always wanted to hurry things up, to go on to something more interesting, bigger, or better than where I was or what I was doing at the present.  A lot of the time I was disappointed when I finally made it there, and I would say to myself, “Is that all there is?”
Marriage to Durward "Swede" Reyman, 1946
 

Hopie lived a life that was what some people of today would call “uneventful.” From the time she married Durward “Swede” Reyman at age 20 in 1946 she was a supportive wife and later a stay-at-home Mom to their four boys.  The family never went on trips to exotic destinations, but always spent their vacations “going home” to visit parents and family in Minnesota and Kansas.  Any money Hopie had was never spent on herself or things she wanted, because what she wanted is to buy things or make things for others.  And whenever anyone in the family (or friends) ended up at her home they were always welcomed with open arms and good food. 

 
Hometown Heroes, Fort Morgan, Colorado, 1990's

I think of her artistic talents which she also inherited from our Mom. Over the years I and all the rest of the family were recipients of the fruits of her labors-- oil paintings, bean and seed pictures, stuffed pictures, ceramic Christmas trees, dummy dolls, concrete lawn ornaments, quillows, and even gold-sprayed cow pies, turd birds and porcupine eggs!  She was probably the most sentimental person I have ever known and she saved every card, gift, letter or picture that anyone ever gave her. 

60th wedding anniversary, January 21, 2006
Hopie and Swede’s marriage lasted 64 “uneventful” years, and the unhappiest I have ever seen my sister was after his death in 2010.  She did not want to let him go, and from then on she was never her old self.  Her health deteriorated also, and she went to join him on October 28, 2013. The hole that was left in my heart when she died will never heal until I see her again someday, but at least now I can put in the video and relive the memories!